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Sometimes I feel like a sick pervert like him. He called me after school one day and apologized, he said he was just checking to see if I was still a virgin. He denied it and said I must have dreamt it. When my mom found out from the school counselor what I had told another student, she confronted him over the phone. I wonder why I dont hate him like I should. I still have a relationship with him although we dont see each other very often. It has been 13 years since then, and I still have those thoughts occasionally. I thought about going even further with him (he didn't have sex with me that night) and I wondered if he thought about me sexually. I fantasized about that night and thought about wanting him to do it again. I became extremely sexually active, I started doing drugs and all the other things you go through after being molested (I feel like everyone pretty much goes through a similar downward spiral) BUT I didnt tell anyone for about a year and after that I just wanted my dad's approval again. I moved back to my mom's just a few weeks later.
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He inched his hand down, down, down, and the further down he went, the more I wanted it. I hadn't ever felt that before, he was my fist sexual experience. I was shocked, scared, frozen, and turned on. When my dad molested me, I was sleeping in his bed (it was just my dad and I that lived together and my room was too hot). I refused and felt really weird, I KNEW that was not normal, but honestly all the other stuff made me think I had a "cool" open minded dad. The massages would get more sensual and we would look at his collection of Playboy magazines together, he asked if I wanted to start masturbating with sex toys (I hadn't even started masturbating with my hand yet!), and he asked me to show him my nipples. Then things started going in a very inappropriate direction. I loved all of that! I loved my dad so much, we were best buds. He would give me massages, we would wrestle, he was extremely affectionate, he would tell me how beautiful I was etc. He "buttered" me up for at least a year prior to the actual incident.
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Posts: 2 Joined: Mon 8:12 am Local time: Fri 11:19 am Blog: View Blog (0) I don't really want advice.I just need people who can relate to me. I feel stained, scarred, disgusting, dirty and unpure. I've been going to therapy for 5 years now and have learned a lot about myself, but I still feel guilty and gross. I'm 20 years old now, and the only men that have touched me is my childhood abuser and a much older man that I got drunk with and let him cop a good feel of my boobs. I don't have sex life or relationships at all. And yet, I feel as if it was my fault and I am the one who is guilty. I feel like he didn't do anything wrong because I enjoyed it.
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I don't know how to feel towards him or the situation. That's when it clicked and everything connected. He sent me a letter, telling me how he fantasized about me. It wasn't until I was 14-15 years old that I realized how he abused me. He eventually left my life, and I didn't think anything of it.
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I liked the way he touched me, whispered in my ear, kiss my neck, everything. I asked him to "tuck me in" because I knew what he would do. Each of these rape stories speaks to the courage of the person who has shared it.My abuser was a much older man and I was a 10 year old girl.Īll of the things he did to me, I enjoyed. The people in these rape victim stories have been badly wounded by these events and yet have the courage to stand up and say what has happened to them. The following rape stories contain scenes of abuse, sexual assault, incest and violence. Rape victim stories can help others to realize that there are other survivors that have been through exactly what they have and come out the other side a whole person. Rape stories detail the many abuses that some people suffer and yet survive and go on to succeed in recovering and regaining control of their lives. Rape victim stories can be very difficult to read, frightening and emotionally draining for some but stories of rape show other victims that they are not alone in their struggles.